Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Green Dress Return

I've been much more nervous about returning items since Express caught me trying to return pants with an elongated pocket a while back. Nothing really came of it - I turned and walked out of the store and that was that - but I am so adverse to being on the spot, that I have been much more prone to having others return for me ever since.

I intended to return the green dress yesterday. I got all the way inside the door and up to the line for the cashier and I panicked, sure that they would find my little sewn-in paintings and detain me, chastise me publicly, ban me for life, etc. I turned and left.

Today I tried to get a couple of friends to do the return for me. One declared that she too would be too anxious. The other thought I needed to do it on my own for the purity of the piece (and perhaps for the sake of character development?). The window of time in which the dress could be returned was soon to expire - for H&M it is only thirty days - so I focused on how small and unobtrusive my paintings are; how it was close to closing time and everyone just wanted to get home, and went to return.

All went smoothly. There wasn't even a line for me to sit and stew in, though the cashier did count out the change with excruciating slowness.

This is a different project to be doing now, than it was when I started it a couple years ago. I found myself wondering, while waiting for my change, if it were more likely that someone buying this dress would be stretching their budget to do so. For a moment I felt a little guilty - perhaps my little interventions are less an intriguing surprise and more a disappointment in a time when people are taking their purchases more seriously and making them with greater care. It's hard to feel bad for long, though, as the little paintings can easily be cut out of the seams without damaging the dress at all.


  1. To ease the tension for you a bit, may I suggest you return your art( for that is really what it is, per your always opinionated Uncle) when the store is busy and the clerk is rushing. I am fairly certain he/she won't be inspecting, and there you go...another 'bottle' into the sea!


  2. It's a good idea. The one time I got nabbed was when I was pretty much the only customer in the store. I tend to avoid the busy times, just as a knee-jerk reaction though, because that means more standing around in line being nervous...

    (And thanks for the art vote!)

  3. I like that the opinionated Uncle is giving tips on your mischief, lovely!